Tuesday, December 19, 2017

In Doubt (Holiday Run Streak, Day #27)

I run with Orion
and Orion runs with me
from the dark slow miles in split-toed boots
with frost and chill
voices beckon to me from beyond the grave
of comparisons... to Scorsese?
Or only to my former self

Today was a long day. This morning at work, I had the chance to see myself through someone else's eyes, and it was tough. I take a lot of pride in my work, but I operate under some level of illusion, I suppose, about how little support I actually get. It was tough to see through unbiased eyes, what felt like, 'No matter how hard you try, there will be this impediment you can't overcome,' 

I guess it isn't uncommon to have some sense of futility in one's job, and that's why I don't live specifically for my job. I have tried to cultivate a rich existence of family, and art, and sport. But it was just a weird moment that threw me off, anyway.

Old voices, at Christmas
but belonging to the Easter season
and promising rebirth amidst the cold  
Aches in the legs, not really any particular concern but just tell tale signs of being worn out. I'm concerned that I won't be able to meet the goal I'd set for myself in this streak, and I'm hoping for a moment of inspiration and unexpected strength. Sometimes those come out of moments of exhaustion.

Five and one quarter miles today after dinner. We had dinner as a family, and around the table. It's sort of rare for us to have dinner at the table but something I'm sure we'll be doing more and more as the kid(s) get older.

Tomorrow my baby girl turns two years old. It's an impressive milestone, and I can't believe what she's able to do at this age already. Sentences (albeit with her own structure) of about eight to ten words, constantly singing, and able to follow simple instructions (when she isn't selectively ignoring us.) 

She's a sweet kid, and I have so much fun with her. 

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